Choosing a Wedding Officiant
One of the first stages in planning a wedding is to choose a wedding officiant. The officiant is the certified clergy that will do the actual wedding ceremony. This person will be in charge of leading the ceremony and should match your relationship style.
Finding a wedding officiant is like hiring a best friend for the day. They often times will set the tone of the entire ceremony from timing to actual speeches given during the moment you say, “I do”. An officiant can be of your religious faith or non-demoninational. You can even become an officiant yourself through online certification, however check with your state law on requirements to perform a ceremony.
This person should share your beliefs in marriage and convey them to you and your partner during the ceremony, so don’t be afraid to interview several before selecting the person that will perform your wedding ceremony. Things you will want to consider:
- Cost. Some are free, and some are not. Get a quote. You can simply ask, “Is there a fee for your services?” If it is a church minister or pastor often times there is no fee associated with their services, however, a donation made to the church they serve is generally appreciated. If you are getting married in a destination location and you ask your officiant to travel with you, there may be a fee for their time and accomodations to be at your location.
- Time. Are they available for the date you have selected? Often times their calendars book quickly, so be sure to secure your date in as much advance notice as possible. If the preferred officiant isn’t available, as them for a recommended replacement. Referrals are most likely to be someone they trust will meet your needs.
- Style. Will the ceremony be in-line with your relationship style? Some couples want to say their own vowes, or perform custom traditions during the ceremony. For couples with children there may be officiants that have a special ceremony to include them – check first before hiring them.
We recently spoke with Utah Wedding Officiant, Rev. Sharon Vollet, who said that she often times has couples who may be getting married with children and so she has a Rose Ceremony where she includes them with vowes spoken from the bride and groom directly to the children. This unique ceremony allows for the entire family to be part of celebration. She also welcomes custom vowes and travels to destination locations to perform weddings.
Once you have narrowed down your selection of officiants to ones that match your style and needs, next thing to do is schedule an interview and meeting with each officiant. You will want to:
- Get to know the officiant
Ask them how long they have been performing wedding ceremonies?
What speeches or sermons do they plan on giving at the ceremony? - Discuss ceremony details
Is there any premarital counceling requirements?
Can you write your own vowes?
Can you play songs or read poems during the ceremony?
Can your photographer shoot photos during the ceremony, at the venue?
Any restrictions on wedding attire or other celebrations? - Ask for an upcoming ceremony date the officiant is conducting and if you may attend
Remember to schedule a follow-up meeting if there are changes you would like to make based on your observation - Finally, if the officiant is the one you would like to select, draw up a contract
Detail any fees and cancelation policies
Remember, this is YOUR wedding and your officiant should be someone who celebrates with you and your partner this day and makes it memorable for you both. Finding an officiant should be a fun and exciting time sharing thoughts on how to verbally express your commitment to one another. Enjoy.
Officiant Etiquette
- It is customary to tip your officiant for services. This is usually handled by a best man who should give the tip in a sealed envelope (that the groom gave to him) after the ceremony.
Officiant Task
- Perform the official wedding ceremony
- Sign and mail in marriage certificate to the state official
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